What 15 Years Together Has Taught Us About Love

We shared our first kiss on a quiet hillside in the August heat. Shortly after, he asked me if I would be his girlfriend. Heart pounding, I said yes. I was 17 at the time and had been hoping for this moment for so long.

I first met my now husband in a cooking class we had together in high school. We were paired in the same group and spent the next year becoming friends and being a little flirtatious. I thought he was cute but had recently gotten out of a relationship that broke my heart and wasn't ready for anything new. Our friendship deepened the more we talked and my heart started opening up to wanting to pursue something more.

We said I love you after he dropped me off at home one night; 2 months after our first kiss. 15 years later I feel like that love has only gotten stronger.

People had said that the butterflies would fade - and while they do look and feel a little bit different than that young love, I can honestly say that they haven't faded. Being with someone since high school is a sweet story. It's one I am proud of and love sharing. But our love has taken work and a commitment to each other. We grew up together and had to choose each other over and over again through all the different life stages. There was a time when I didn't think we were going to make it. But my goodness I am so glad we did. For better or for worse we've made it through some very low lows and celebrated some amazing highs. What a gift that is to share that with someone.

I think what makes love beautiful is how it shifts over the years. What started as young love evolved into an enduring love. And that doesn't mean that you can no longer experience what that young love felt like, but it matures over the years, offering you chances to discover new pieces of yourself and of that person as it does if you allow it to.

It can be easy to let love go stale or die off. As the years go on, kids get added to the mix, careers take off, you experience loss, life gets busy. Sometimes resentment, jealousy, grief, or anger can take root and rot this thing that was meant to remain pure. In my own humanness, I am guilty of it. But then I am reminded of what my maker intended it to look like; it's patient and kind. It does not envy or boast. It isn't easily angered and keeps no records of wrong. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. This is the kind of love I want my kids to bear witness to, and the kind that I want to put my foundation on. A long lasting commitment to someone is hard. It's not always pretty or instagram worthy. Sometimes it's a daily surrender to our own selfishness; working through that ugliness and humbling oneself to become softer and gentler.

Saying yes on that hill when he asked me to be his girlfriend all those years ago was the best choice I have ever made. And I will continue to keep choosing him. He is my best friend, my home, my happy place. He knows all of me and makes my soul feel calm. To me, life with him is worth the work and I can't wait to see how our love adapts in these next 15 years.

Xx,

Hayley